Self Reflection Healing: Exploring the Importance of Inner Growth
Self Reflection Healing Explained
Today I’d like to introduce another cool tool for your healing arsenal, so let’s talk about it! Self reflection healing refers to the practice of introspection and self-examination to promote personal growth, heal emotional wounds, and foster self-awareness. It involves taking the time to reflect on one's thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and life experiences to gain insights, identify patterns, and initiate positive changes. This technique can encompass various methods such as journaling, meditation, therapy, and mindfulness practices, all aimed at nurturing inner healing, cultivating self-compassion, and achieving overall well-being.
Self reflection healing is a deeply transformative process that involves looking inward, and examining our thoughts, emotions, and experiences with a compassionate and non-judgmental lens. It allows us to understand ourselves better, uncover patterns and beliefs that may hold us back, and initiate the necessary steps for growth and healing.
Through self-reflection, we create a sacred space for introspection, where we can explore our inner landscape and connect with our true essence. It allows us to delve into the depths of our subconscious mind, where unresolved emotions, traumas, and limiting beliefs may reside. By shining a light on these hidden aspects, we can begin to acknowledge, process, and release them, allowing for profound healing and personal transformation.
Self reflection healing is not about dwelling on the past or getting stuck in negative emotions; it is a powerful tool for self-empowerment and self-discovery. It encourages us to take responsibility for our own healing journey and empowers us to make conscious choices that align with our authentic selves.
Creating Intimacy Through Connection and Vulnerability
Would you agree that we all want connection? We all want to be seen, heard, validated, loved, and accepted for who we are, and what we think, feel, and say. After all, it is only human nature to want to feel safe, loved, and like we belong. We can sometimes go about achieving connection in unhealthy ways, however. This usually stems from childhood when we internalized our caregivers’ reactions as personal and thought it meant we were not enough, too much, or otherwise inferior in some way.
Once we have been traumatized in some way, we typically create an inner critic who starts to judge and punishes us in the same ways that we have been judged or punished by our caregivers or abusers. We create thoughts and stories based on the false beliefs we create as children to survive our circumstances and feel like we have some semblance of control. Children need to feel like they have control, so they will often make themselves responsible for how the adults are feeling and make it their fault when they are unhappy, violent, or even happy and calm. And this carries on throughout life with different people and experiences that we think we can control and make “feel happy” with us. This is until we decide to change this pattern of believing we can control anyone else’s inner conflict. We simply are not responsible for others’ feelings—no matter what.
As a result of thinking it is our fault when our caregivers are angry, as children, we can start to believe things like, “I’m not good enough,” “I am too much,” “I don’t measure up,” “I am unlovable,” or “I don’t matter” which then creates a feeling of having to prove to people that we are lovable, worthy, perfect, doing it “right,” or good enough. The inner critic shames us and keeps us doing the “right” things and not rocking the boat with everyone around us, and we learn to cut off from our feelings of anger, grief, fear, and even joy. This is because shame binds with these other feelings and taps them down so that we can never truly be vulnerable with these feelings. We have learned that by doing so, we might get hurt, laughed at, not liked, thought of as “overly emotional,” or punished in some way for expressing our vulnerable side. So, we disconnect from these deeper feelings, allowing shame to rule us and our inner critic to tell us to “stop being so emotional,” “people won’t like you if you show them your weakness,” “get a thicker skin,” etc.
This prevents us from having truly connected relationships with ourselves and others out of fear we won’t be loved and accepted for feeling “ugly” feelings. And these feelings are not ugly at all! They are our GPS into our true, authentic selves. They help us come home to who we truly are. This, my friends, is your pathway to true self-love! See? There is an ACTUAL way to do it! This is great news, but it does not mean it is easy. It takes practice and a willingness to connect with these deeper feelings and allow them to be whatever they are. And this can be tricky for those of us who were never taught that feeling is okay. But, it does not mean that it can’t be learned. Everyone can learn this!
Sometimes, when people use substances, instead of trying to hide from their feelings by using them, people are actually using them to connect with themselves and others. Drugs and alcohol can open us up and suppress our inhibitions. So, instead of seeing substance use as shameful, seek to understand why you are using them. Is it for protection from your deeper feelings, or is it for connection to them and a sharing of love between you and your fellow soul travelers? You’ll notice that when you are at a party and feeling loving while intoxicated or if you notice someone else being that way, it is probably because you or they simply want to share love, connection, and conversation with people. They are trying to connect. And that is really beautiful!
Into Me I See
I believe that once we truly understand WHY we do something, we can start choosing to stop doing that thing we if want to. If you have a real chemical dependency that you need help quitting, please get the help you need for it. Once we depend on something, quitting is not as easy as simply knowing why. Your body and mind become hooked on it. So, you should seek professional psychological or medical help if you have a substance problem. But if you are on your way to quitting or you don’t have a physiological dependency on substances, you can practice noticing the WHY behind why it started. I think that can go a really long way in helping you stop doing it in the long run. Self reflection healing is a powerful tool, allowing us to delve deep within ourselves and uncover hidden emotions and patterns. Through self-reflection, we can gain clarity, release emotional baggage, and nurture our inner selves with compassion and understanding.
Connection, however, can be done healthier than by using substances. The first way to do this is by learning how to connect deeply with yourself. This is always how everything works—for better or worse. We start with us first. We can notice our beliefs about something and then see what is showing up in our experiences to mirror those beliefs. If we connect with and understand ourselves and why we feel the way we do or why we have done the things that we have done in our lives, we can start to forgive ourselves so that we no longer feel compelled to act out anymore. The shame can take a back seat, and the feelings of grief and anger at ourselves and others can be felt. We can feel more at ease and at peace after confessing to ourselves and understanding our deeper motivations.
This is a beautiful process of self-connection, and from there, the embodiment of other “C” words, such as confidence, clarity, compassion, curiosity, creativity, courage, and calmness about ourselves, can come on board. From this space of self-love, we can approach people, jobs, money, and everything with a peaceful, forgiving, and loving attitude, which helps all of us. Self reflection healing is a continuous and ongoing process. It requires patience, curiosity, and a commitment to self-care. As we embark on this journey, we cultivate a deep sense of self-compassion and acceptance, allowing us to heal emotional wounds, nurture our inner selves, and create a more fulfilling and meaningful life.
You do not need to feel stuck anymore if you don’t want to. There is a way past your past!
Please seek me out if you need help moving past your blockages to self-love, overcoming self-doubt, and forgiving yourself for your past mistakes. This is why I coach and what I coach around.
