The Most Effective Way To Heal Trauma: Safety

“Our ability to regulate during times of stress is one of the key elements for responding in healthy ways to challenges, and in building and maintaining resilience and a sense of safety.” -Kathy L. Kain, PhD and Stephen J. Terrell, PsyD Nurturing Resilience: Helping Clients Move Forward from Developmental Trauma

The most effective way to heal trauma is one simple word.

Trauma can be a difficult and overwhelming experience that can affect a person's mental and emotional well-being. While there are various treatment options available for healing trauma, some people may find it challenging to access or afford professional help. However, there are simple and effective methods for healing trauma that individuals can practice on their own. There is one simple tool that the trauma survivor values above all else. In this blog post, we’ll explore what that is, and provide tips for self-empowerment to help manage trauma symptoms and promote healing. It sounds crazy, but it’s pretty clear-cut. If you’re going through a lot of pain, you’re looking for the most effective way to heal trauma without causing further emotional damage or overwhelm!

Safety, Safety, Safety

For the trauma survivor, safety is paramount. Dr. Stephen Porges, the originator of the Polyvagal Theory, says, “Safety is the treatment for trauma.” When a young child is absent of a strong attachment to their caregiver, they can feel unsafe. They might feel anxious and unsure about when their caregiver will return or if they will be fed, shown affection, understood emotionally, and attuned with. This lack of safety and insecurity creates a traumatic and stressful response in the body. If the parent does nothing to repair this rupture, a child can go through their life with a feeling of unease and stress permeating their body indefinitely. This creates a dysregulated nervous system which can contribute to how the person shows up in life—how they relate to others, how they think about themselves, how they can hold a job, earn adequate money, how they feel about their bodies, and how healthy they are.

When children are treated as though their feelings are not real, important, or warranted, it deeply wounds them. They are laughed at, judged, ridiculed, punished, or abused for screaming when a scary event happens. Crying when they are sad, lashing out, or yelling when angry, and then to have a parent making them feel ashamed for their reactions can cause trauma. The shame brought about by a caregiver easily turns into an inner critic who constantly shames, ridicules, mocks, and judges the child. This makes a child start to perform—to people please, fawn, seek approval, overreact to all kinds of stimuli or avoid close relationships, and feel a general lack of safety and security inside themselves.

In turn, a child grows up without a strong sense of their authentic self. They wear masks to feel a sense of belonging, love, and safety. Others can never fill the void entirely, however. A person can feel lost and like they no longer know who they are.

The Body and Mind Take the Hit

As a result of the inner critic’s judgments and the stress and hypervigilance that arise from the threat of trauma and shame, a flood of stress hormones, including cortisol and adrenaline, are continuously activated. This stimulates the sympathetic nervous system and the flight or fight response takes over.

There are psychological, relational, emotional, and biological aftereffects for a person when he or she has a stress response from his or her early life traumatic events. A child can grow up to have Major Depressive Disorder (MDD), Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Bipolar Disorder, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) or many of the symptoms of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) such as: body dysmorphia, emotional dysregulation, increased vulnerability to future abuse, or addictions. Trauma survivors can lean toward learned helplessness, not trusting others easily, being submissive, or having low self-worth.

Due to the cascade of all the stress hormones flooding their system so often, a person’s body becomes inflamed, leading to various downstream health consequences. Diabetes, Celiac Disease, Rheumatoid Arthritis, and thyroid problems are only a few of the many autoimmune disorders one can be susceptible to. Heart disease, migraines, and even cancer are all possible outcomes of the stress of trauma on a person’s body.

What Can Be Done?

Luckily, much can be done to return to a feeling of calm and safety in the body. With tools and guidance to help the trauma survivor create resiliency and a sense of internal safety, they can begin to relax and start to heal from their pain, fear, and health issues. We can only heal in a state of calm. Stress leads to health issues. So, the idea in trauma recovery coaching is to help the client start where they are right now and move forward in their healing, calming, and emotional regulation—in their safety within themselves. Returning to that calm and safety again during stressful times becomes easier when we practice finding calm and safety during the easy times.

At the end of the day, I want to help my clients find the most effective way to heal trauma. As a coach, I help my clients by co-regulating with them and creating a safe space where they can feel my compassion and curiosity instead of harsh judgments toward them. We heal in relationships, and the coach/client relationship is a wonderful place to help trauma survivors feel that sense of safety so they can learn to feel safe within themselves, with others, and with the world at large.